TOTALLY TRUE LOVE STORY: LONER EDITION

I’ve always been impressed by people who seem to make friends everywhere they go. Or people who have friends all over the country. Not to mention the people who manage to stay close to friends they’ve had since childhood! Meanwhile, I have a hard time summoning the courage to even ask the people in my new office what their names are. The process of making and keeping friends, for me, is like trying to pick up sand at the beach. Depending how dry that sand is, it tends to run right through my fingers. Or, the sand will be so wet and chunky, I’ll have no choice but to shake it off violently, brushing and brushing until I can’t feel a single grain on my hands, anymore. So that’s me: walking the beach alone, day after day. Sure, it brings me joy to take in all the natural beauty that’s around me. But I also feel a definite separation from all the clusters and constellations of friends and family groups I see. Sometimes I tell myself that I’m just the kind of person who’s meant to walk through life by themselves. I remind myself that there is strength, even power, at being able to rely on me, myself, and my God of True Love for everything I need — love and companionship included. Sometimes I even feel sorry for the couples who seem attached at the hip, telling myself that they are probably weak, needy, and dependent. I’m sure that deep down inside me, there’s an attachment wound that wants to heal. I mean, I’ve gone through years where I would cry every night for the companionship I was missing. Right now, though, I’m perfectly okay with being alone. I don’t wonder anymore about why? or how much longer? I have my kids, I have my Universe of True Love here, and I have a part to play in the world through my work. I think I’m good. ❤️‍🔥— Y.B.D.