Once, I said this — I just want to be close to you — to a person I badly wanted a relationship with. He had been bemoaning the state of our previous relationship, and informing me that because it hadn’t worked once, it would never work again. Sometimes these matters are much too complex to dive into over text message, but because that was the one form of communication he was willing to have with me, the only thing I could think of to type back was something simple. Something that could never repair all the damage of the past, but would hopefully begin to pave a brave new direction for the future. I just want to be close to you was the truest and simplest thing I could think of to say, and also the most loving. So, did it work? Dear reader, I hate to disappoint you, but it did not. That person was not about to let me into his heart again, let alone allow me to enjoy any level of day-to-day closeness with him. It took me a long time, a couple of years at least, to finally accept this. I was in mourning, and I bounced around every awful stage of grief, for perhaps much longer than most people would. But at the heart of my grief was not some terrible insanity, but instead, that original, authentic desire: I just want to be close to you. And not just to anybody, but to someone whom I truly loved. There is absolutely nothing wrong, or crazy, about having a burning desire for closeness with another person. The only critical, determining factor, of course, is your choice of whom you want to be close to. The trick that makes all the difference is to say it to the kind of person who also wants very much to be close to you, too. But do take the risk of saying it, and say it often, to just such a person. Because these words carry a deep and rich meaning. It’s the kind of meaning that has the potential to bring you even closer together, in love. ❤️‍🔥—Y.B.D.